Bill Clarke

The bride to be said: “A long frilly white dress
with a veil.”

The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said,
“Please don’t take this the
wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered
more appropriate for
brides who are being married the first time – for
those who are a bit more
innocent, if you know what

I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be
nice?”

“Well,” replied the customer, a little peeved at
the clerk’s directness, “I
can assure you that a white gown would be quite
appropriate. Believe it or
not, despite all my marriages, I remain as
innocent as a first-time bride.
You see, my first husband had an undiagnosed       heart
condition, and he died
as we were checking into our hotel. ”

“My second husband and I got into such a terrible
wreck in the limo on our
way to the airport for our honeymoon that he died
immediately from those
injuries.”

“What about your third husband?” asked the sales
clerk tentatively.
“That one was a Democrat,” said the woman, “and
every night for four years,
he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how
good it was going to be,
but nothing ever happened.”